January Dish of the Month: Redux

I've been chilling in California for a couple of weeks and taking advantage of my parents' kitchen with its multitude of utensils and space, two luxuries I don't have in New York. Though my parents are health nuts they gave me free reign over dinner for a night. (Usually I'm cooking things they ask me to cook or at least checking with them first.) I roasted a lamb shoulder using a recipe from Jamie at Home. Its sheer glory made me so giddy I forgot to take pictures. I also sauteed some Swiss Chard, which I oversalted to the point of inedibility. But the coup de grace (or rather, coup de gras) was my potato gratin, which I first discussed here in January.

At one point I opened the oven to discover this, which I just had to film:

I'm not sure what that liquid is, as I used very little butter. I guess it's the fat from the cheese and the creme fraiche. Whatever it is, it tasted damn good.

From The Annals Of Gluttony: Top Chef Diary

Bravo has yet again aroused my ire. As soon as they built the most compelling storyline of this season's Top Chef, they destroyed it. Kicking Jennifer off the show was a mistake. A big one. Her quest to avenge the wrong done to her lover, her fem companion, whom she swore was one the best chefs she'd ever known, is over. We can't see her pine for a woman whose "palate" (meow) she knew better than anyone. Jennifer's fire was giving the season a romantic sweep worthy of the Bronte sisters. Shame on you Bravo. Shame on you.


Richard's win at desert quick-fire was pure nerd bravado, and, if there was any question, he has cemented himself as the front runner. However, Dale's looked the most appealing to me. The hula-hula crushed ice/condensed milk thing seemed good. I've had something similar made with snow, condensed milk, and wine by students at Bard outside of a Sufjan Stevens concert, and despite all that misery, it was excellent.

The pastry demi-God judging this little foray into sweets was Johnny Iuzzini, a Jean Georges acolyte. Anyone Vonrichten deems worthy of his kitchen is worth a look, but Iuzzini looks like the kind of guy who beats off to "Point Break" before heading off to make rhubarb soup for twelve hours. What I mean to say is, he seems like my kind of guy.


The improvisation themed elimination challenge was a nice play on Chicago, and the producers seem like they are more on track with programming challenges. However, the elimination decisions are another matter. The injustice of Mark and Nikki remaining needs no elaboration. Nor, I may add, does the fact that Lisa or Antonia should have been sent home for avoiding a nice polish sausage. While I understand Lisa's aversion, Antonia looks like shes stewed a few in her day (a thank you). Jennifer and Stephanie's dish was a mess, but at least they followed instructions. And, OF COURSE, Richard and Dale won, blah, blah, blah...


So now what am I meant to do Bravo? What is the narrative of this season? There is the feminist option, which would say root for whatever women are still standing to be the first to take the title. The horror movie/Sweeney Todd alternative would be to see Spike and Andrew fall into a vat of hot oil while engaged in a some kind of tweak-out and subsequently be served to the unsuspecting Judges. After they are informed of the truth of their protein we break into an extended montage of projectile vomit shots. You see how far I am reaching here. So please, Bravo, have SOMETHING for me tonight.

From The Annals of Gluttony: Top Chef Diary

Another two for one Top Chef wrap-up: Episodes Five and Six. Almost as budget as Spike's hat collection. His fashion is the last piece of proof for me that there is no cool way to wear a hat. The very act of putting one on in this day and age translates as so self-conscious that any attempt at flare or panache is hopelessly lost. The only hats that are acceptable would be novelty ones like a huge sombrero or a one of those furry french legionnaire confections. I also feel like Spike is perpetually caught in the final sequence of Duck Soup, every time we cut back to him he's wearing a different hat - the basket-weave baseball hat being the most loathsome. However, by the end of episode five, Spike and his remaining fellows had, at the very least, emotionally denuded themselves as Top Chef morphed into "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"


The episode started off innocently enough with the Top Chef quick-fire staple: the palate test. Here it was officiated by my lovely Padma and the very stern, the very regal, the very Evil, MING TSAI! I'm sorry if I offend here, but Ming has been known to be very ungenerous in previous seasons, casting himself as a sort of Piston Honda figure, though, I will admit he was on good behavior this episode. He was just about the only one.


For those of you who saw the episode you know where I am dying to go - the post judging meltdown. The rest of the episode pales in comparison to the final moments in, what Bravo refers to as, "the stew room." The elimination challenge was awful (another conceptual hot mess), Atonia won the quick-fire, and Lisa won elimination. Then Jerry Springer stepped in. Bravo really helped frame this ending by playing some neat editing tricks. After cutting away to commercial, seemingly to come back for credits and a preview of next week, they dropped us, unsuspecting, into a heated epilogue.


With Zoi freshly eliminated, Jennifer was nursing a lover's searing wound, and seemed hell bent on vengeance. (Subsequently she has begun cooking to avenge Zoi's outrage, adding a real romantic sweep to Episode 6.) She excoriated Spike for "putting a teammate in the ground" during judging, and then kicked a chair! Spike returned volley, or rather, deflected the abuse with a tilt of the hat and his customary diffidence. Although, I discovered he was born in Montreal, I insist his attitude could easily be mistaken for Israeli. Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Dale let loose on the just crowned winner, Lisa, over her "complaining about everything." I'm with Dale. I had no problem with Lisa being assertive, but she does have a tendency to be a downer. Not like Dale is a big bag of sunshine, but Lisa feels adolescent in her angst. The venom was clearly flying, and Bravo expertly chose to forgo underscoring, instead allowing a sinister weight to enter the proceedings courtesy of the naked "stew room" ambiance. I really don't know how things turned so ugly, but I can only assume that the producers released some pheromones and fed everyone greenies during the commercial break.

This infusion of energy really boosted episode 6. The guest judge was some butch deaf-mute but it didn't even matter. Jennifer is on a mission, and fueled by the memory of her lover, she fried up twin tasty looking beignets, an apt metonymy for the pair she now appears to be sporting. I found myself drawn to Jennifer, I like her power, and I appreciate that she's cooking for a cause. Her win at this elimination elicited a round of applause from me at home. Food tastes better when its made with love. Read Like Water For Chocolate. I did. I even made a recipe.
Tailgating provided an apt challenge for last week. It's local, it's classic, and it has a logic not based in the musings of a sorceress, unlike the previous challenges that incorporated animals and the elements. Most of the chefs played it conservatively, which was right, and dumb flourishes were kept to a minimum. I thought judging was right on. Ryan's three component fancy feast was completely out of line. Frankly, the bottom three in that challenge all need to go. I've been very clear with my feelings (abject disgust) about Mark, and Nikki needs to take those eyebrows and head home.

Returning full circle here, the tailgating really piqued my interest in Chef Tom's head wear. The backwards black Kangol is awful, but it's unclear whether it's a personal choice or not. As is evidenced by his soul-patch/flavor saver/lip goatee he is completely capable of choosing that hat for himself, but it also has a distinctly Bravo vibe too it. I understand Tom has a growing popularity as a bear in the gay community, and that Kangol is a perfect accent. It really says, "Daddy means business." Whoever is behind it what's clear is that everybody, save me, is in agreement that it's a good idea. Can't wait to see what Wardrobe has cooked up for tonight. So long all, enjoy it.

Pantry Essentials

In February Maureen Clancy wrote up a list of essential pantry items on her Matters of Taste blog. There's not much on the list for me to disagree with, but I thought I'd comment on a few items and add some of my own.

First off, I was pleased that Maureen agrees that Swanson chicken broth is the best. Despite my inclination toward organic products whenever possible, there's no question that Swanson chicken broth tastes better than the others, so I'll always use it when I'm making a soup reliant on the flavor of chicken stockor something else that I want to come out perfectly. (If I'm not using homemade stock, which is rare.)

I'm curious about why she prefers Diamond Crystal over Morton's for kosher salt. I've always used Morton's if for no other reason than that's what my dad uses, though I have noticed that a lot of restaurants prefer Diamond Crystal. And Maureen only uses Morton's for salting pasta water...maybe I've been missing something.


But I think any respectable pantry also has at least one other type of salt, preferably Maldon Sea Salt, which is fine for cooking but great for finishing. It has a distinctive look and feel that you just don't get with kosher salt.

It's always good to have white vinegar around.

This may be a bit much for a typical pantry, but it can't hurt to have a container of miso paste in your fridge. It lasts forever and adds a surprising umami bomb to a lot of Asian dishes. On that note, I think Sriracha is also essential, as is a good hot sauce. Tobasco is fine, but Mexican ones like Cholula and Tapatio are better.

Baking soda, baking powder and regular table salt. Essentials for baking and many other desserts. And what about flour? For both sweet and savory dishes.

Maureen also left off spices. Maybe her son is moving with a spice collection, but if he needs to buy them, I'd start with cumin, curry powder, cayenne, chili powder, bay leaf, and paprika.

I've saved the best for last: Butter and parmesan cheese. Tisk, tisk Maureen. If your son's going to have three types of canned beans in his pantry and TWO sauces with Chipotle in the name, shouldn't he have some Plugra butter and a nice hunk of Parmigiano Reggiano on hand as well?

Jamie At Home - WATCH IT BOYEEEEEE

Jamie Oliver is my hero.

My first exposure to food television came during a summer I spent with my family in London. (I'm pretty sure this is true. If not it was another summer somewhere in Europe where the only channel we understood was BBC.) My brothers and I laughed our way through "Two Fat Ladies" (which is also the title of some of my most horrible sex nightmares) and "Can't Cook Won't Cook". And while I spend at least a couple hours a week watching cooking shows or shows about food, I've missed that little bit of British flavour. Say what you will about their cuisine or their teeth, the Brits have a way with words.


Which is why I was stoked when Food Network announced they'd be airing a season of Jamie Oliver's "Jamie At Home", which I think was pulled straight from the BBC (i.e. it's not new episodes, just replays of the British version). It's on early Saturday morning, so I DVR that shit and watch it when I get back from the Greenmarket.

Jamie in a fat suit

The guy is hands down brilliant. So I wonder: why is no one in the blogosphere buzzing about Jamie At Home?

His whole vibe is just bloody charming. There's the mild lisp, the vertical stripes, the fact that much of the food he cooks with comes from his own farm. It's all completely seasonal, much of it local and sustainable as well. Those may be buzzwords, but they all matter.

He's an awesome chopper and he uses sea salt rather than kosher salt. Watching the show has made me really enthusiastic about winter vegetables (or "veg" as he calls them) and opened my eyes to some creative yet simple ways to prepare meat. Just about everything Jamie makes on the show is something you'd want to feed to your family, and if you don't have a family it makes you want one to feed.



Above all, the guy's enthusiasm is just off the charts, in the sincerest of ways. It's infectious in a way that makes you believe that food and cooking is the most important thing in the world. And it allows the (some would say illusory) view that good food and good people to share it with is all you need for a happy life.



Yes, in case I'm not being clear, I'm saying I have a serious man crush on Jamie Oliver. It is perhaps the first of my adult life, and I feel more alive than ever.

From The Annals of Gluttony: Top Chef Diary

Top Chef week four saw the show right the ship. They had good chef-testing challenges, great looking ingredients, and a top-flight allstar guest judge. Love Daniel, that fucking imp. So French, so coy. He can hold his own next to Padma (sigh) and make Chef Tom look like he is in diapers.

The technique/veggie plate quick fire was an excellent challenge. Manuel's plate was just awful looking and was a harbinger of things to come in this episode. Riddle me this, Manny, who is meant to eat those lemon suprems you so lovingly separated. Certainly, not Daniel Boulud. He will not singe his exquisite palate for you. Shame on you.

Dale's sashimi plate was cute and his skills shined through. Richard was in the top three and he has clearly established himself as the front runner right now. If it wasn't for the hair I could be whole-heartedly behind him. I find it a bit self-conscious.

Speaking of Richard, his showing at the elimination challenge raised the bar for the cooking this season. He threw down something strange and something I wanted to try. The setting couldn't have been more contrived though. Richard Roeper's "home" complete with movie light silhouetted at obtuse angles was really lame. Who is Aisha Taylor? However, I like seeing them all try to create an epic meal and the judging seemed just to me.

From The Annals of Gluttony: Top Chef Diary

Hey all, I apologize for my epic delinquency. I was away in Paris stuffing my face during week two of Top Chef and have been meaning to write this two-in-one diary entry for the past week. Top Chef weeks two and three have been a disappointment. I am rapidly losing faith in the creative and casting teams behind the show. The challenges have been inane and the personalities of the contestants lack luster. However, let me give each episode its due.

The high point of week two was seeing Wylie Dufresne back. He is the patron saint of nerd cooks. You can see the nerdy eyes of the nerd chef contestants light up when he is introduced in his speckled side burned nerdness. The molecular gastronomy thing has a following akin to Dungeon and Dragons - indoor boys with Eliza Dushku posters.

Despite my ranting above, I liked the quick-fire challenge. Limitation breeds creativity and responding to fresh ingredients is the acid test for a cook. I've been to that green market in Chicago and it's a beaut. This challenge also confirmed for me that I really dislike Mark, the cook from down-under. He brusque manner at the green market was despicable, and I'd like to seem him sent back to the penal colony from whence he came. And, on top of it all, he won the quickfire, even after losing an ingredient. Blah.


As was totally evident from Chef Tom's disdain when asking what the contestants thought about the elimination challenge, he hated it as much I did. Limiting and designing cocktail food around the diets of zoo animals is so singularly stupid, vapid, and utterly unrelated to HUMAN meals. The cute factor here is out of control and the results generally sucked. Valerie getting booted was no surprise and she was utterly expendable: she can go home and cry in the arms of Rachel Dratch - her doppelganger. Worst of all however, was that Andrew won. Hate is too kind a word for my feelings. His streetwise slang, busted-ass Pinocchio face, and cagey body language are debilitatingly annoying to watch. You work at Le Cirque, drop the suedo beastie boys act. He is this season's Marcel and it appears the show is going to ride his hijinks for a while. Oy gevalt.

Episode three. Padma's injunction to "take on the taco" brought a smile to my face, but that was about it. Rick Bayless has a bit of Patrick Bateman in him and I tend to agree with big Eric - may he rest in peace - that high-end mexican is a contradiction in terms. I sincerely hope this is the only time Bayless is on the show, he creeped me out. The taco challenge was boring in conception and execution and the scavenger block party had some potential but ended up a dud. The only high point was Spike misdirecting the other team, and I want to see him develop into a real villain. I think he's Israeli, which only helps.

Andrew seems to be getting more and more out of control. His declaration at judging that "this is my house" made me want to roll him up in a carpet and set the carpet on fire. There are no words, hopefully he will be gone soon, though I think he's a decent cook. I hope that he just says something inappropriate to Padma and gets kicked off. Until episode four, yours truly...